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i think my life now is dull. its not like i'm not having fun, i am. maybe too much fun, or maybe i'm just involving myself too much. i feel dead.

everyday feels the same. after all the busying, when i sit alone on the bed and stone, tears will just start welling up in the eyes. maybe i just cannot adapt to JC life, or maybe i just miss my secondary school life. i know i ought to do sth about this, but there's no time to do anything about it.

mr ching has been telling me to do stuff i like. its not like i never tried, but i'm yawning more than enjoying what i used to love to do oh-so-much. now, when i look at secondary school students, i wonder about how carefree their lives are, and i'm envious. you have no idea how much i want to go back in time, but that's not possible.

i dont know if anyone has this sentiment of feeling so involved in everything, but so distant to everything. i feel so mentally strained and emotionally numbed, and it gets worse when you have to start comforting people who feel similarly, because u know you need to be stronger (at least at that point in time).

i hope this is just an awful phase that can quickly pass. its no wonder i feel like eating ice cream everyday.

to mr ching: thanks for letting me depend on you everytime i emo. you still know what to do when i cry. you've made everything so much easier for me, little bro. (:

to danny: thanks for making everything feel unreal everytime i'm with you. at least i feel easy and comfortable. and happy graduation from BMTC.

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just random pictures on what's been happening these while.

we sneaked teresa into school X:

jazz continued to act super retarded. (i cant stand her lah. so damn cute!)

and we took zilian pics in the toilet!

then this is taken against this escalator. HAHAH. lem looks super cute. kenn refuses to look up and smile. BOOO!

ahh. new class mate called weiliang. and he is super funny! WEILIANG ACT CUTE.

then the sleeping aura steps in and johnathan caused jonathan to sleep. haha.

and vivian ACT CUTE. but is damn cute. (: my favourite.

and a picture of me and weiling! haha,

then yanzhu hamsupped peiyi. GOODNESS! yanzhu how can u betray me?!

oh oh. this is our drawstring picture. if u enlarge this thing u can see that charlotte's drawstring is dark blue, mine is blue and yanzhu's light blue.

okay. squiggly ice cream! haha.

we took class photo too!

and this is quite a full class photo. oh. (:

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i bet i'm going to lose one of my closest sec school friend because someone refuses to get out when i asked him to, just to catch up. right, mr ching? and yes, i'm pissed at you because u are forever like that. its not like i never tried, its that you never accepted, and its getting irritating. BAH!

on a lighter note, i'm proud of myself! but yeah, i guess i wont elaborate much. haha. oh well, i've got to catch up with cc and a few other ppl while doing my work. BAH!

i swear i need some time for myself.

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woah. yesterday was the 1st day i stepped into VJ without teresa. honestly, i felt abit lost. i guess after 4 years of seeing her almost everyday, not seeing her just seemed abnormal. its not like i'm in love with her lah, its just that, she was just so close.

i thought i'd be okay with the idea that her appeal was unsuccessful, but i wasnt. when i hugged her the day before, i just started tearing. i guess i really couldnt accept that fact. yesterday was just damn weird without her, and i had so many things to tell her. everytime i saw something, i wanted to turn around and tell her about it. but she wasn't there.

tracer, i want you to know that i miss you okay. and please stay happy in TJC.

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okay. now that i have a little bit of time on my hands, i shall blog a little on what's been happening for the past few days.

i've been going for chingay. yeah, its fun but erms. there's room for improvement in terms of the system? yeah. haha. the floats were nice and the fireworks were not bad. i met quite a number of new friends there. yeah! haha. as much as it was tiring, i think its worth the CIP hours lah. haha.

erms. then i've been going for OGL trainings as well. i finally learnt some steps of the mass dance well! OH GOODNESS! haha. posting was out today and i'm glad i'm staying. i hope all S31 appeal ppl can stay. PLEASE STAY! kenn jie may not get in, which i think is quite sad because i think he cracks the best quality jokes i've ever heard. so i hope he can stay. yeah.

i thank you for the surprises. and the legend is true, i found my treasure.