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i think my life now is dull. its not like i'm not having fun, i am. maybe too much fun, or maybe i'm just involving myself too much. i feel dead.

everyday feels the same. after all the busying, when i sit alone on the bed and stone, tears will just start welling up in the eyes. maybe i just cannot adapt to JC life, or maybe i just miss my secondary school life. i know i ought to do sth about this, but there's no time to do anything about it.

mr ching has been telling me to do stuff i like. its not like i never tried, but i'm yawning more than enjoying what i used to love to do oh-so-much. now, when i look at secondary school students, i wonder about how carefree their lives are, and i'm envious. you have no idea how much i want to go back in time, but that's not possible.

i dont know if anyone has this sentiment of feeling so involved in everything, but so distant to everything. i feel so mentally strained and emotionally numbed, and it gets worse when you have to start comforting people who feel similarly, because u know you need to be stronger (at least at that point in time).

i hope this is just an awful phase that can quickly pass. its no wonder i feel like eating ice cream everyday.

to mr ching: thanks for letting me depend on you everytime i emo. you still know what to do when i cry. you've made everything so much easier for me, little bro. (:

to danny: thanks for making everything feel unreal everytime i'm with you. at least i feel easy and comfortable. and happy graduation from BMTC.