Sunday, July 8, 2007

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i wish things didnt turn out this way. wish i was less attentive to little things that were left unsaid. wish i was able to remain as naiive as i once was. but you know what, i cant. its not that i ever hated you for all the things you've done. its not as if i was never able to forgive you, at any one time of our friendship. its just that, i just feel like this whole friendship thing is a one way affair. true enough, you've assured me that it isn't. but even if i try to convince myself again and again that its a two way friendship, i just find it more and more difficult to.

things really came to a realization when i found out why we talked so much less nowadays. its just seems like.. everything is pointing towards that direction that this friendship is a one-way affair. i thought i was able to forget it, thought i was able to live with it, thought i was okay with it. but it turns out that, i'm not.

no matter how much i try to close one eye, there's just this feeling bugging me again and again. i'm sorry. i wish i didnt even expect a single thing from you. but, its just that, you are one of the closest person to me. you still are one of the most treasured friends in my circle. but, it just hurts that it feels as if we're moving on this one way street.

i know u still care, i know you still watch over me like you promised. but.. i dont know. maybe its because i'm a front stage crew and you are a back stage crew, that's why we are not able to clear this hurdle. not just yet i guess.

or perhaps, its simply because we just fail to read each other's intentions all the times.

if u are reading this, just so you know, you still mean a lot to me. i'm sorry for not speaking to you for i need time to think things through. this friendship means a hell lot to me, and i'm not ready to let it go to waste.

and yes, by the way, its nice to see you smile that spastic smile again.

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